Established 2019 • Boulder, Colorado
Your geological companions face unique psychological challenges that traditional pet therapists simply cannot address. Our certified Rock Whisperers specialize in treating the complex emotional needs of sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic pets through evidence-based therapeutic interventions.
Specialized intervention for rocks that have literally "grown apart" through geological processes. Our relationship counselors help mineral pairs and groups reconnect through proximity therapy, synchronized weathering sessions, and tectonic communication exercises.
With over 15 years of experience in geological psychology, Dr. Granite pioneered the breakthrough "Mohs Scale Emotional Assessment" technique and authored the bestselling book "Between a Rock and a Hard Place: Understanding Your Pet's Inner Geology."
Dr. Slate's gentle approach has helped thousands of limestone, sandstone, and shale patients overcome their layered trauma. He specializes in stratification stress and compression anxiety disorders.
Combining traditional geological therapy with alternative mineral medicine, Dr. Quartz offers holistic treatment plans that address both the physical and metaphysical needs of your pet rocks.
"My pet granite hadn't moved in three years. I thought it was just being stubborn, but Dr. Granite diagnosed severe igneous depression. After six weeks of therapy, I swear I saw it shift slightly. Worth every penny!"
"The couples therapy saved my relationship with my river rocks. They were completely worn down from years of erosion issues, but now they're solid as... well, rocks again. Dr. Slate is a miracle worker!"
"I rescued a pebble from a construction site, and it had severe excavation trauma. The group therapy sessions helped it integrate beautifully with my other rocks. They're now a happy geological family!"
We accept most major geological insurance plans. Payment plans available for metamorphic transformation packages.