Professional Grandmotherly Services On Demand

Experience the warmth, wisdom, and gentle nagging of a loving grandmother whenever you need it most. Our certified grandmas provide authentic care, homemade cookies, and unsolicited life advice with professional excellence.

Reserve Your Grandma Today
Professional grandmother providing warm, loving care

Our Service Packages

Choose the perfect grandmotherly experience for your needs

Essential Grandma

$49/hour

  • Unconditional love and support
  • Cheek pinching (mandatory)
  • Concerns about your eating habits
  • Weather-appropriate clothing advice
  • One secretly slipped $20 bill

Premium Experience

$89/hour

  • Everything in Essential Package
  • Fresh-baked cookies (3 varieties)
  • Walking uphill both ways stories
  • Professional-grade guilt distribution
  • Knitting or crocheting lessons
  • Three hidden $20 bills

Holiday Specialist

$149/hour

  • Complete Premium Package features
  • Embarrassing childhood stories
  • Relationship status interrogation
  • 47 nearly identical photos
  • Tupperware with week's worth of food
  • Grandchildren timeline discussion

Meet Our Certified Grandmas

Each grandmother brings decades of authentic experience

Our team of professional grandmothers

Margaret "Marge" Henderson

22 years of professional grandmothering

Specialties: Guilt management, sweater knitting, unsolicited advice

"You're looking thin, dear. When did you last eat a proper meal?"

Eleanor "Ellie" Thompson

18 years of professional grandmothering

Specialties: Cookie baking, matchmaking, medical WebMD expertise

"My neighbor's nephew is single and has excellent dental coverage."

Beatrice "Bea" O'Sullivan

25 years of professional grandmothering

Specialties: Life wisdom, casserole preparation, weather predictions

"My knee says rain tomorrow. You should take an umbrella."

What Our Clients Say

Real experiences from satisfied grandchildren

"Grandma Marge attended my work presentation and loudly told everyone how proud she was. My boss gave me a promotion out of pure emotional overwhelm. Worth every penny."

- Alex Chen, San Francisco

"I hired Ellie for Thanksgiving. She brought seven types of pie and told my actual family embarrassing stories about my 'childhood.' They've never been more entertained."

- Jordan Williams, Austin

"Bea came to my apartment, reorganized my entire kitchen, left me 12 frozen casseroles, and somehow made my plants bloom. I found $60 hidden in various pockets."

- Sam Rodriguez, Seattle

Frequently Asked Questions

Are your grandmas background checked?

All grandmas undergo rigorous screening including cookie quality testing, guilt distribution assessment, and verification of at least 50 unique "back in my day" stories.

Can I request specific grandmother traits?

Absolutely! We can match you with grandmas specializing in specific cuisines, crafts, or levels of passive-aggressive commentary about your life choices.

Do you offer corporate packages?

Yes! Our corporate grandmother program boosts employee morale with on-site cookie distribution, motivational guilt, and mandatory hydration reminders.

Ready for Unconditional Love?

Call 1-800-GRANDMA

Available 7 days a week, 6am - 10pm (bedtime)

24/7 Emergency Grandma Hotline for Life Crises

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