Bronze
The Quick Exit
$29.99
- One professionally crafted excuse
- Basic plausibility verification
- Same-day email delivery
- 48-hour validity guarantee
- Perfect for dinner cancellations
Professional Excuse Solutions for Every Awkward Situation
Expertly crafted narratives to liberate you from unwanted obligations since 2019
Why ExcuseGenerator5000?
Founded by a collective of Master of Fine Arts graduates, we've transformed the art of creative writing into a practical service for modern life.
Our team of certified narrative professionals brings decades of storytelling expertise to craft believable, airtight excuses for any predicament.
With over 15,000 successful extractions from unwanted obligations, we're the nation's premier excuse generation service.
Service Packages
Silver
The Elaborate Escape
$79.99
- Multi-layered excuse narrative
- Personalized to your history
- Timeline consistency check
- 7-day validity support
- Emergency text templates
- Ideal for weddings & reunions
Gold
The Bulletproof Bailout
$149.99
- Master-level excuse architecture
- Full supporting documentation
- Trained witness phone support
- 30-day validity period
- Crisis management included
- Social media templates
Platinum
The Flawless Fiction
$299.99
- Complete excuse ecosystem
- Professional documentation suite
- Three witness phone numbers
- 90-day validity
- Personal consultant assigned
- 24/7 emergency hotline
- Digital evidence creation
Our Expertise
MFA-Trained Writers
Advanced degrees in Creative Writing ensure every excuse is a masterpiece of believable fiction
100% Confidential
Bank-level encryption and strict client privilege protect your avoidance needs
Rapid Response
Same-day service for Bronze/Silver, priority same-hour for Gold/Platinum clients
97% Success Rate
Independently verified through anonymous client surveys since 2019
Method Actors
Theater-trained witnesses maintain character flawlessly under questioning
Global Coverage
Cross-cultural excuse adaptation for international situations
Client Success Stories
"The witness phone number was called three times and the story held perfectly. I enjoyed a spa weekend instead of helping my sister move."— Sarah M., Gold Client
"The documentation looked so professional that my boss expressed genuine concern. Got the week off AND sympathy cookies from HR."— David L., Platinum Client
"Five years of family reunions successfully avoided. These people are true artists."— Anonymous, Repeat Client
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this service legal?
Our services provide fictional narratives for personal entertainment. We do not create fraudulent documents intended to deceive authorities.
How do witness phone numbers work?
Background-checked professionals memorize your scenario and maintain character when contacted. All witnesses sign strict confidentiality agreements.
What's your refund policy?
We guarantee the professional quality of our excuses. Platinum clients receive crisis management if needed. Success depends on proper execution.
Ready to Reclaim Your Freedom?
Contact us today for a confidential consultation
Payment plans available. All major credit cards and cryptocurrency accepted.