Master the Art of Strategic Procrastination™
World-Class Training in Advanced Postponement Techniques
Meet Your Procrastination Expert
Dr. Marcus Delay, CPP
Certified Procrastination Professional with 20+ years of experience in strategic task avoidance and temporal optimization. Dr. Delay has pioneered revolutionary techniques that transform destructive procrastination into a sophisticated life management system.
His groundbreaking research at the Institute for Delayed Studies has redefined how we understand productivity, proving that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is absolutely nothing.
Currently working on his fifth book, "The Tomorrow Mindset," which has been 95% complete since 2019.
Professional Services
Executive Coaching
One-on-one sessions designed for busy professionals who need to master the delicate balance between appearing productive and actually procrastinating.
Duration: 6 weeks (or whenever we finish)
Corporate Workshops
Transform your team's approach to deadlines with our innovative "Flexible Timeline Management" methodology. Perfect for companies embracing agile postponement.
Next Session: TBD (scheduling in progress)
Crisis Procrastination Support
24/7 hotline for when you absolutely must avoid something immediately. Our specialists will help you find urgent distractions and justify any delay.
Response Time: 3-5 business days
Certification Programs
Procrastination Fundamentals
Master the basics: excuse creation, deadline negotiation, and the art of looking busy while doing nothing.
Advanced Avoidance Strategies
Learn sophisticated techniques including productive displacement, strategic forgetting, and priority inversion.
The Philosophy of Delay
Explore the existential implications of postponement and why "now" is always the wrong time.
Digital Procrastination Mastery
Leverage technology to maximize your procrastination potential with apps, browser tabs, and infinite scrolling.
Procrastination Leadership
Inspire others to embrace strategic delay while maintaining team morale and avoiding accountability.
Time Perception Manipulation
Make hours feel like minutes and deadlines feel like suggestions through cognitive restructuring.
Success Stories
Dr. Delay transformed my chaotic procrastination into an art form. I now postpone with purpose and confidence!
— Alexandra Chen, CEOI've been meaning to cancel my subscription for months, which proves the methodology really works.
— Michael Torres, EntrepreneurThanks to this program, I've successfully avoided every major decision for the past year. Life has never been more stress-free!
— Rachel Kim, Creative DirectorInvestment Options
Starter
Basic procrastination techniques
Email support (eventually)
Access to recorded workshops
Professional
Advanced postponement strategies
Monthly group coaching (when scheduled)
Certification upon completion*
Enterprise
Complete procrastination mastery
1-on-1 coaching sessions
Lifetime access to all materials
*Certificates printed and mailed within 6-12 months of program completion
Frequently Postponed Questions
When do classes start?
Classes begin when you're ready, which statistically speaking, is never. We operate on a rolling admission basis where "rolling" means we keep pushing the start date forward.
What if I actually complete the program?
This would indicate a fundamental misunderstanding of our methodology. We offer remedial procrastination coaching for overachievers.
Is procrastination coaching right for me?
If you're still thinking about this question next week, then absolutely yes.