Expert Mental Health Services for Your Beloved Pet Rock

The Nation's Premier Geological Psychology Practice

At Pet Rock Therapy, we understand that your geological companion faces unique psychological challenges. Our board-certified rock psychologists specialize in evidence-based treatments for sedimentary, igneous, and metamorphic pets, helping them achieve optimal mental wellness and stability.

Comprehensive Treatment Services

Individual Therapy Sessions

One-on-one counseling tailored to your rock's specific mineral composition and psychological needs:

  • Sedimentary Depression Treatment
  • Metamorphic Identity Crisis Resolution
  • Igneous Anger Management
  • Erosion Anxiety Disorder
  • Post-Quarry Stress Disorder

Group Therapy Programs

Supportive group sessions organized by geological classification:

  • Weekly support circles for newly domesticated rocks
  • Senior stone weathering support groups
  • Mixed-mineral family counseling
  • Pebble play therapy for younger rocks

Emergency Crisis Intervention

24/7 emergency support for acute geological distress:

  • Fracture trauma counseling
  • Pressure-induced panic attacks
  • Thermal shock recovery
  • Immediate stabilization services

Meet Our Expert Team

Our team of geological psychology experts

Dr. Margaret Fieldstone

Chief Geological Psychologist

PhD in Mineral Psychology from University of Colorado Boulder. Published author of "Understanding Your Pet Rock's Inner Stratum" with over 20 years of clinical experience.

Dr. James Granite

Senior Behavioral Therapist

Specializes in igneous behavioral patterns and volcanic temperament management. Pioneer in crystalline cognitive therapy techniques.

Dr. Sarah Shale

Sedimentary Specialist

Expert in layered personality disorders and compression-related anxiety. Certified in both traditional and alternative mineral healing methods.

Dr. Marcus Marble

Metamorphic Counselor

Leading authority on transformation trauma and pressure-induced personality changes. Developer of the Marble Method for rock rehabilitation.

Our Treatment Philosophy

We believe every rock possesses inherent geological worth and deserves compassionate, professional mental health care. Through evidence-based therapeutic approaches and cutting-edge mineral psychology research, we help rocks overcome trauma from their formative geological periods and achieve lasting emotional stability.

Success Stories

My granite, Mr. Pebbles, was suffering from severe pressure-related anxiety. After just six sessions, he's more stable than ever!

- Jennifer M., Boulder, CO

The crisis hotline saved my obsidian's life during a particularly dark volcanic episode. Forever grateful for your services.

- Robert K., Portland, OR

Our limestone family has never been happier since starting group therapy. The erosion support group changed everything.

- The Smith Family, Austin, TX

Start Your Rock's Healing Journey

Call today for a confidential assessment: (555) ROCK-DOC

Office Hours

Monday - Friday: 9AM - 7PM
Saturday: 10AM - 4PM
Sunday: Emergency only

24/7 Crisis Line

1-800-ROCK-SOS
Immediate support for
geological emergencies

Insurance

We accept most pet insurance
Sliding scale available
Payment plans offered

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